I’ve sat down to write this post countless times in the past 6 months so this has felt like a long time coming for me. Let’s start with the obvious. Things look a lot different around here. I’ve been wanting to build this new site for years, but just couldn’t quite get it right until now. And you may also have noticed I made the change from A Study in Chic to my name. This is something else I have had on my mind for a long time.
When I started writing this blog almost 6 years ago, it felt like a more private creative outlet. As it grew, the things I wrote about changed and the conversations changed. And to be completely honest, there was some safety in the vagueness of a name that wasn’t mine. But in the last year, I started to really take the idea seriously. I wanted the focus of this space to be more on the things I find inspiring, the work that I’m creating, all while having room to grow into whatever this next phase of my life is about to be.
The life I had a year ago or even six months ago feels like a strangers’s life, even though from the outside it maybe doesn’t look that different. The past year was incredibly difficult for me emotionally, but I also felt as though that really pushed me to grow and really understand myself better. I suppose that’s the upside of difficult times that they make you a better person for them. I feel as though once I turned 30 my life was like “OK just so you know, we’d like to do this all much differently now so buckle up”. I spent most of last Spring and Summer going through an anxiety spiral of all the normal things; who am I, what do I want in life, what do I not want in my life, the usual things you lose sleep over. Then in August, my sister was diagnosed with colon cancer. It’s not really my story to tell, but she is healthy and much better now.
I took a break from blogging over the Fall and Winter because I honestly just didn’t have anything to say. How was I supposed to care about anything else when someone I love was sick. I knew I was ready to change a lot of things in my life and that I wanted to write about different things here. I think because I was going through so much change and emotion, it felt like the right time to take a break and really figure out what I wanted. I couldn’t find a way to write anything here when it felt like my life was falling apart. There’s no real way to share your life with other people when you don’t even know how to talk about it. I just wanted to use my time to spend reading, writing other things, and being with my sister.
I can only presume that everyone who has gone through a loved one’s illness or been ill themselves or gone through a different massive life trauma, has that moment of ‘what are we all even doing?’ All I could think at any time was ‘THIS is not what I’m doing with my life’. And that in itself was really freeing. You can read all the motivational quotes you want on Pinterest, but until you have brushed with the fragility of life, it just won’t mean as much.
After spending the last year in a depressive episode over, you know… everything in the world and in my life, I have been feeling so much happier. The only way I know to describe it is that I feel excited for life. It isn’t about being out of depression, it’s about getting out of it and that happens little by little. I spent the last year trying to learn what I really want my life to be and how to share that with the world. And one of the things I want to share most is my writing. I kept coming back to the idea that what I’ve always wanted in life is to be a writer. You could say but you have a website where you…write. But I’ve never felt like a writer, I think because I was writing with this creative anonymity with a blog and a different name. So that was part of the reason for changing my website name and this new chapter.
I’m just truly excited to have some inspiration and for the changes to come. My personal style has always leaned more toward having fewer, better things and my lifestyle has really grown more into that concept over time. Not just in fashion, but beauty and home as well. I want to share more about how to shop for better things and to highlight brands focused on sustainability and social responsibility. The goal is not to fill your life or home with things, but to curate a lifestyle that brings you happiness.
My hope is that this space, for you, is inspiring, thoughtful, and encourages you to explore more of whatever it is that brings you excitement. I have loved writing here for these past 6 years and I am so happy for everything that’s ahead. The concept of A Study in Chic was that life should be about learning what makes it beautiful to you. That won’t ever change for me. I will always want to learn and grow and make life feel like art.
Thank you for following along. It means so much. xx