Monthly Notes, 1.21

Where to begin in this new year? I love nothing more than a new beginning, a fresh start. Sometimes it can feel difficult to let go of something old or a feeling that no longer serves you. The new year has always felt very symbolic to me as the start of a new chapter in life. For me, this feels more closely tied to my birthday which is only just a couple of weeks after the new year. Turning a year older, thinking of everything I did and learned, how I grew in the last year. I use this time to let go of the things that didn’t serve me and the ways I’m not serving myself. 

Thinking ahead to the new year I am filled with nothing but hope and optimism for the year in front of me. The past year and the one before felt like some of the heaviest, darkest years of my life, so far. The emotional exhaustion of these years took such a toll and this new year feels like a way to mark letting go of these things and moving forward. Some people are moving hesitantly into the new year and for good reason. But in all honesty, I’m exhausted with feeling miserable. It is possible to acknowledge tragedy and sadness while feeling happy and hopeful.

When I look back on this year, it was the year of staying put physically and growing more personally. We stayed home, we chose being in this place to help each other. We watched as others didn’t stay home and the toll that took on us. We all asked for more than any of us could give, but we did our best anyway. We also grew from this. We gathered however we could, we marched for what’s right, we voted for freedom and equality, we had conversations that will change the way we live forever. 

I think about what’s to come this year and the feeling of moving forward is overwhelming. At some point, we won’t be physically staying put in our homes, in our bubbles. I long for the freedom in front of us.

I hope in 2021 you feel peace. I hope you feel loved. I hope it is a year where you do more for others than yourself. I hope it is a year that brings you the people who mean the most to you. I hope it is a year you can leave what is done behind. I hope that this year brings even a small feeling of freedom. I hope this year you feel enough as you are.